


start again

by writerlily



Series: map that leads to you [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerlily/pseuds/writerlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin always loved soulmate timers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	start again

**Author's Note:**

> start of time was barry before caitlin so naturally this is caitlin's story before barry. the title of this is from gabrielle aplin's song [start again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79f4mzSFvF0). hope you guys like it. feel free to leave a kudos or comment on what you think! :)

Caitlin always loved soulmate timers.

Ever since she was a little girl, she's been fascinated by the glowing green numbers on her right wrist. It was the closest thing to magic that she had. Soulmate timers brought two people together; two people that were simply meant to be. It was practically every child's storybook fantasy. As she grew up, she realized it was more than that. Soulmate timers provided even the loneliest of people hope that somewhere someone else was waiting for them. And it made all the difference in the world to Caitlin.

Her soulmate timer was part of the reason she pursued a career in science. Who knew what magic lay in the world, undiscovered, patiently waiting for Caitlin to find it? It was thrilling for her.

Her soulmate timer was also her main means of motivation; it's what helped her overcome her toughest days. All she had to do was look at the timer and remind herself that there was someone out there with the exact number of digits ticking away on their wrist waiting for her too. It was enough to pull her out of her head and remind her that she needed to be the best possible version of herself for when she met her soulmate.

She worked hard in high school. Not once did she slack off or choose a party over a textbook. She graduated early and with acceptances from all colleges she applied to. Eventually she chose the one that would best suit her major in bio-engineering. She was dedicated to her schoolwork; it pushed her to always do her best and always strive for best. 

More often than not during that time, she wondered about her soulmate. What did he look like? Was he a nice man? Did he get along with his family? What type of job did he have? And since she couldn't receive direct answers to these questions, she made up a faceless man in her head. A man who was kind, sweet, smart, motivated. Doing so was considered a bit dangerous. It's always advised against to have expectations for your soulmate, to avoid disappointment, but Caitlin resolved to the fact that this man wouldn't be her soulmate if he wasn't already those things she made up about him in her head.

And she needed the faceless man in her head to tithe her over while she waited. The waiting was always the most difficult part. 

She wasn't set to meet her soulmate for a while and it was frustrating to no end. She hoped that her soulmate was just as eager to meet her. All she wanted was her soulmate by her side. Too many spectacular moments had gone by and she wished her soulmate had been experience them with her.

...But there were a few things that she's glad were able to happen without knowing her soulmate. One being her surprising relationship with Ronnie Raymond.

They met in one of her engineering classes. They would bicker. She would yell at him and in return he would try to make her laugh. He almost always succeeded. Things between them came easy, naturally. He always joked that he was fire and she was ice and that opposites were bound to attract. They were both just as surprised by the attraction between them. He was different; he was that spark that she needed in her life at the time. Looking at her soulmate timer all the time was driving her crazy with impatience. It also made her feel a twinge of guilt every now and then; sometimes it felt like she was cheating on her soulmate... but Ronnie would simply pull her sleeve down to cover her timer and kiss her on the cheek saying, "You worry too much, Snow." And that would be enough to make her feel better.

But they weren't stupid. They weren't naive enough to even try and rebel against soulmate timers and find a way to stay together. They knew that their relationship would eventually come to it's demise. It stung for Caitlin. Sometimes she would look at Ronnie, feel those butterflies in her stomach, and think that there was no way she could feel anything more for anyone else. It was a constant battle for someone like her; someone who so strongly believed in soulmate timers... None of it mattered at the end anyway.

Because Ronnie met his soulmate before her; a beautiful woman named Linda that he introduced her to. Caitlin felt jealous. Not at another woman being on Ronnie's arm, but the way they just looked at each other. She and Ronnie never looked at each other like that. It still hurt when she and Ronnie broke up, but they didn't make things dramatic; it wasn't really their style. They parted with a long hug and a promise to keep in touch, because if they weren't soulmates, they could at least be friends. That was when Caitlin realized that whatever butterflies and feelings she had for Ronnie, would never compare to what having a soulmate could offer. 

As the following months passed, her loneliness crept up on her. She no longer had the comfort of Ronnie to distract her from how long she had until meeting her soulmate. It seemed that she was spending more time in her head, staring at the green digits on her wrist, and willing them to go faster. 

To get herself out of her depressive state, she did what she does best. She threw herself back into her schoolwork. And, unsurprisingly, she graduated top of her class. Her dad was more than proud of her, while her mom was just happy that she graduated from college. Caitlin and her mom haven't always been close. She thinks that part of the reason why is because her mom never really wanted to have children. 

It used to bother her... now it's just become one of those hidden insecurities she has. That's why she often wonders what her soulmate's relationship with his parents is like and what type of father he would be. 

Anyway, her issues with her mom are the least of her concerns after graduating, because she wakes up a few days afterwards to an email from STAR laboratories offering her a top position to work with Dr. Harrison Wells. Apparently, his team has been keeping an eye on her since high school. She showcased major potential and skill that would be put to good use at STAR labs. Caitlin stared at her laptop screen with her mouth hanging wide open for a good ten minutes, before squealing, then writing out a reply of her acceptance.

Working for Dr. Harrison Wells was like some surreal dream that she was expecting she would wake up from. She would leave behind her parents and the town she knew like the back of her hand for an apartment in the middle of an unknown Central city and a new, daunting job. It was like she was starting again; a new city, new people, a new job. It was nerve wracking, but her dad was quick to put her at ease.

"Listen honey, you're not going to get anywhere by staying in the same place your whole life," he said in that warm, matter of fact tone, that all fathers seem to possess. "And you're going to meet your soulmate soon. Things will fall in place."

Caitlin bit her lip and looked down at the numbers on her wrist. "A year isn't very soon," she said dryly.

"Just watch. A year is nothing. It'll go by in a blink of an eye."

He wasn't wrong about that.

The year really did flash before her eyes; before she knew it, she was settled into her new apartment and new job, where she happened to meet her closest (and only) friend, Cisco Ramon. He was quirky and funny and always wore the best t-shirts to work. She made weekly calls to her parents, to assure them that she was doing okay, and that she hadn't starved herself to death. (She'd never been the greatest at cooking.) She was thriving at STAR labs. Being part of Harrison Wells' team was incredible; everyday she was learning and creating something new.

She became so immersed in her new life that she stopped torturing herself by constantly staring at her soulmate timer. She occasionally glanced at it, just to see where she was on time before meeting her soulmate, but she didn't let herself stress over it as much. She couldn't do that to herself anymore and the proclaimed soulmate experts— who she never really listened to until now— always say to go about your life as you normally would and then, boom, you'll meet whoever you're destined to be with. 

So Caitlin did exactly that. She especially followed her routine on the day that she is poised to meet her soulmate. She wakes up at five in the morning, runs a couple miles on her treadmill, showers and dresses for work, and stops by for coffee and donuts from a local bakery in the city. She frequents it so often that she's on a first name basis with one of the waitresses. A smart, nice woman named Iris. They chit chat sometimes about the weather, the city's politics, Iris' classes, and Caitlin's job. It's nice, to say the least. It's almost like Caitlin has an actual female friend.

Anyway, she says a thanks to Iris, and makes her way to the labs. She's a jumble of nerves, but she can't let it effect her too much today. Cisco says he might need her help as he is on the verge of discovering something that he claims will 'change the world'. And it definitely is. She drops their coffees and baked goods on a desk and follows Cisco's order to go run and tell Dr. Wells of his discovery.

She's a blur of blue as she runs down the corridors to the main building of STAR labs where Dr. Wells' front office is located. Her soulmate is the last thing on her mind as she focuses on Cisco's discovery (and not slipping, or tripping, in her heels). 

But as soon as she bursts in the room, eyes wide, and ready to yell at Wells— her soulmate timer goes off. Two soulmate timers, to be exact. In that quick second of time that's frozen, she's momentarily confused because there's no way that Harrison Wells could be her soulmate—but then she notices someone else is in the room. Another man who's staring at her with wide eyes—very green, bright, eyes—and suddenly time starts again and she feels a rush of warmth spread throughout her entire body. Those butterflies she used to get with Ronnie were nothing compared to the flutters happening right now in her stomach. 

The man stands up from his chair in front of Dr. Wells' desk. He's a sight to be held and Caitlin mentally says a thanks to the soulmate gods for giving her such a handsome soulmate. He's possibly the best looking man she's ever seen; those twinkling green eyes of his, the genuinely sweet smile he's giving her. 

She could melt right now. 

"I can see we're going to have to reschedule this interview," Wells clears his throat from behind the man with an amused smile. He gives Caitlin a wink and makes his way towards the door.

"I think that would be best," Caitlin lets out a breathy laugh and notices the way her soulmate's eyes light up even more at the sound of her voice and laugh. 

"I'm Barry," he introduces himself as he moves closer to her. She moves as well. It's like there's a string between them, connecting them, pulling them closer together. She wonders if he can feel it too.

Caitlin smiles, so widely, her face will probably hurt later. She doesn't care though. All she cares about is this moment; the one she's been waiting to happen since she was a little girl and she is not disappointed. Her chest feels like it could explode from everything she's feeling. It's all overwhelming, in the best possible way. "I'm Caitlin."


End file.
